Most people HATE taking responsibility for their actions because it’s so much easier to blame someone else for their problems than to realize – and accept – that their problems are usually of their own making.
Blaming is easy… “Oh, life dealt me a bad hand, better just lie down and let life continue to kick the crap out of me.” It’s like saying “I’m already broke, why not just spend a little more, what’s one more going to hurt?” Well, you’re going to continue being broke unless you change the way you spend, just like your life is going to continue to suck unless you change the way you live.
To change your life, you must change your perceptions. You must accept that you will experience failure and disappointment, it’s the consequence of taking risks, learning new skills and trying new things. You must understand that things won’t always work out in your favor the way you would like, and that life owes you nothing. Then you must change how you react to all those situations and experiences. You can throw your hands up and settle for a life that sucks or you can decide to take some action and change it; after all, no one said life was going to be easy… “No one ever promised you a rose garden.” (Sing along with me!) You can create a list of people to blame for why your life sucks; you can blame your parents, your teachers, your friends, your boss, but at the end of the day it all comes down to you. It comes down to what kind of person you want to be, the kind of life you want to live, and what you’re willing to do differently to create a better life. If you want to stop living a sucky life, then make the necessary changes. If you don’t know what kind of changes you need to make to improve your life… ask for help from someone who’s life doesn’t suck… or get help from a psychotherapist or counselor.
If you are truly committed to changing your life for the better, you will find a way. If not, you’ll blame someone else and find an excuse to make yourself feel better temporarily about your miserable life. Every single person has a choice as to how they’re going to live. You can wish for and say you want to change your life but until you change your mind, commit to a better life, and begin to take some different actions, nothing will change. Again, if you don’t know what actions you need to take to improve your life… ask for help from someone that does. Life is meant to be a trial and error journey…
Life can be tough at times, that’s no secret. But the question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to sit back and continue to let life dump on you, continue to be a victim of circumstance, or are you going to get up and act as if the life you want is within your reach? Moaning and groaning may make you feel better in the moment, but will get you nowhere. Bad things happen to all of us but complaining is a waste of energy, because at the end of the day who really cares about your life and your problems more than you do? If you don’t care enough to do something to improve your life, then it’s going to continue to suck. You can complain that you didn’t get the promotion and talk about how much you deserved it until you’re blue in the face, but the truth is you’re the only one that is affected by it. People can tell you how sorry they are, how it’s not fair, how you deserved the promotion, but at the end of the day, you are the only one that is going to lose sleep over it.
Blaming others won’t get you anywhere, instead, it might be time to take responsibility for your own actions. If you want a good life – a life that sucks less – you must create it. It’s time to stop blaming the world for your problems, put the past behind you, let go of all those injustices you believe you have suffered and move forward by owning your mistakes, taking responsibility for your part in all the things that made your life suck up to now, and begin again. Each of the moments of your life have led you to where you are right now. Every experience you’ve had, good, bad, or indifferent, is valuable information that you can use to create the life you desire. Information is power, let that information fuel your efforts toward something better. Information used to make positive change is wisdom. You are wise, only you can look at your life see what behaviors have prolonged your misery and what behaviors may make things better.
It’s truly amazing how people will take offense to the suggestion that they are responsible for the quality of their life. Your choices and your actions have led you where you are today. You can choose to be a victim of circumstance or you can choose to be positive and see the opportunity in every situation. Your happiness is your choice. You are the only person holding yourself back from your dreams. You are the reason you’re unhappy, you are the reason your relationships are unhealthy or unsatisfying, you are the reason things remain the same.
You are the reason your life sucks. It all comes down to you. It comes down to your perception, your outlook on life, your ability to take responsibility for your actions and your willingness to make sacrifices and changes when and where they are needed. If you want a life that doesn’t suck, you must believe in a better life, you must behave in more positive ways, and stop blaming and making excuses to justify your unhappiness. Suffering is optional. Stuff happens, you learn something valuable that informs future decisions, you choose to see opportunities rather than failures, when you feel stuck you reach out and ask for help, and you begin to look for the things you want in your life. Whatever you look for is what you will find because “to a hammer everything looks like a nail.” If you don’t like where you are, move… you are not a tree. Fall down seven times, get up eight… and before you know it… your life doesn’t suck. It’s your choice.
